Friday, May 9, 2014

Mother's Day is ... Complicated.

Mother’s Day is … Complicated.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Mother’s Day and all the mamas out there deserve to be honored and made to feel extra special.  I feel so incredibly blessed that 5 years ago a young woman, not ready to be a mom herself, chose life for her unborn baby.  I am so humbled and honored that this young woman chose me to be a mom to that little life growing inside her and that God arranged that I was present for my daughter’s birth, was the first to hold and kiss and feed her and become her forever mom.  There are no words to express how grateful I am for this experience and for all the opportunities I have had to be a blessing to the kids God has placed in my life.  I rejoice today that I am a mama, that a had a great mom, and also for the older women in my life who are like moms to me. 

Me...with my mom and grandma

But for me, and many other women, Mother’s Day is, well, ... it's complicated.

My heart overflows on Mother’s Day with a torrent of emotions.  I do feel gratefulness and joy, but I know firsthand the pain of this day.  I can’t send flowers, make a sweet card, hug, or talk to my own mom on the phone.  I’d love to ring her up and chat about my daughter’s antics or each other's latest craft projects, but I can’t.  She's in heaven now.  She never even met my daughter, which saddens me even more.  I think they would have had a lot of fun together.  So, this weekend, I’m praying for you, all you who miss your moms.  I’m going to plant some flowers for my mom this weekend, to honor her memory.  I’m going to look through my scrapbooks and remember what a crazy lady she was.  I’m going to snuggle in the afghan she made for me and pretend it’s a hug from her.  I’ll call my siblings and we’ll remember her together.  I hope you can do something to remember your own mom, too, and cherish your memories.  I pray that you know beyond a doubt that you’ll be able to see her again. Even though we may not have always seen eye to eye on everything, I am confident that my mom loved Jesus and knew Him as her Savior – and I do, too.  That’s the hope I cling to that our relationship, delayed for now, will continue in perfect love in eternity.

Oh, how Mother's Day is complicated.

On Mother’s Day my heart also breaks for those moms-in-waiting who are still in the waiting room.  I know firsthand the heartache that is so acute every day for those women longing to fulfill a calling to be a mama.  This pain often lingers for years, but on Mother’s Day it’s even more painful.  If you choose to go out, you have to endure the “Happy Mother’s Day” greetings, smile at the sight of moms with their kids, admire the handmade cards that you fear you’ll never receive.  You must try to be polite and happy for what seems like “all” the other women, all the while battling the lump in your throat, the ache in your belly, the jealousy, the feelings of injustice inside your own weeping heart.  I want you to know that you are not alone today.  You are being prayed for.  Yes, the hurt you are feeling is real and especially raw today, but God will provide a balm.  Turn to Him for comfort and don’t be afraid to pour out your anguished heart to Him.  It’s in good hands.  If you choose to “hide out” today, it’s okay (yes, I’ve done that).  Just, please, don’t stay there for long.  I pray that God sends lots of people your way today to love on you, to let you know that you are worthy and special.  God’s timing is perfect and if it His will for you to be a mama, you will be.

Me...with my blessing
Yes, Mother’s Day is wonderful.  If your joy is overflowing, Rejoice! Thank God! Enjoy your blessings today!  But for many it’s also bittersweet and complicated.  Will you also take a moment to join me in prayer?  

Father, we thank and praise you that you are our strength, our joy, our Creator Elohim and the Lord who Heals, Yahweh Rapha.  We ask that you wrap your arms around all moms this weekend.  Speak strength and joy into the hearts of those struggling in their own motherhood or with their relationships with their moms.  Lord we ask for comfort and peace for all those whose hearts are grieving for their moms, whether they've been parted by death or by broken relationships.  Be their Yahweh Rapha and heal their hearts with your love.  This weekend Lord we ask special mercies on those women who long to moms but are still waiting on your perfect timing.  Shower your love on them, reassure them of your promises and good plans for their lives and grant them grace to live wholeheartedly for You each day as they wait.  Help us all to recognize and be sensitive to those hurting on Mother's Day and lead us to minister as needed.  Thank you, Father, for all the ways you care for us daily.  In Jesus' Name.  Amen

Whimsical Wednesdays at Rachel Wojo


  1. Karen, I'm wishing the most beautiful Mother's Day! Prayers and hugs to you!

    1. Thank you, Shelly. A beautiful day to you, too!

  2. What a beautiful, moving post! I could SO relate to a lot of what you said. I lost my own sweet Mother 2 years ago, and I miss her so much...not only on Mothers Day, but every day. And, I ached for a baby of our own for so many years. So thankful God allowed you and I both to become Mamas, in His own time, in His own way. Very grateful to have met you! :)

    1. Thank you, Cheryl. Prayers for you as you miss your mom this Mother's Day. Praising God that you can enjoy your blessing, too!

  3. Beautiful and true post. One of the nicest things anyone ever did for me was in the midst of my long struggle with infertility, when a woman at my church who I didn't know well (although we are dear friends now) brought me a bouquet of wildflowers and a beautiful card on Mother's Day. The card said that I was already a mother-to-be, even if my "expecting" was longer than most.

    1. Thanks, Cyndi. It's such a blessing that God sends friends to minister to us just when we need it. Enjoy your day!

  4. So true, Karen. We forget how complicated most holidays are when we have lost loved ones that we want to share those special days with and the ordinary days too!